Just One Week
Do you ever wake up feeling motivated? Ready to get a jump start on the world, begin a big project, or undertake some large task that you’ve been putting off for months? Well don’t feel bad, because I don’t either. In fact, most days I struggle to drag myself out of bed and when I do, it’s as far as the couch. I sit around drinking coffee and loathing the thought of work in the distance. Sometimes I feel like I have too much to do or not enough time so I might as well do nothing at all. I think these feelings of impending doom, of overwhelming stress and indecision are like a drug, and the more we give into them everyday, the easier they are to take the next. Until you’ve sunken so low that you couldn’t possibly dig yourself out.
Today I’m three months away from my 39th birthday. I’ve had pretty much the same dead end job since I exited college. I’ve spent my entire life swinging on the fat girl pendulum, of which I’m most certainly on the high side again. This year I found out that I have a debilitating back condition that will eventually need surgery. Until that day comes, I am in varying degrees of pain. This back injury is going to end my mediocre career and leave me with no useful trade to continue to earn a living on. The longest relationship I’ve ever had was with my beautiful dog Daisy, who died five day ago at the age of 13. I can honestly say that on many days, I’ve lost the will to live and wonder if God would be so kind as to just put me out of my misery.
So I’m starting this blog. Every week I’m going to check in with you guys, and I hope that you’ll decide you too want to start checking in with me. This is going to be a mental health project to see if every single day, even the smallest steps, propel us forward and closer to our goals.
My goal this week is to walk my dog Steeler every single day. Rain or shine. No excuses. Now that we’ve lost his sister after 13 years, neither of us know what to do with the other. I want us to start bonding in a way we weren’t able to do before, and get us out of the house and into a new environment. I feel like the exercise will be good for both of us, mentally and physically. I hope it will keep him occupied from dwelling on the fact that she is gone, give him something to look forward to when I come home, and allow us to find a hobby together that is just for the two of us.
I’ll check back next week and let you know how it’s going. In the meantime, try to find one thing you’d like to start doing for the next seven days and commit to it. Just one week.