No Such Thing As a Second Chance
What it really means to give someone “another” chance
Let me start out by saying that I feel deeply. I love deeply. I hate deeply. And once I feel some type of way for you, there’s no coming back from that. Not to say that I wasn’t once a person who believed that everyone deserves a second chance, or third, fourth, even fifth. Fuck, I’ve devoted most of my life to forgiving mother fuckers that never deserved it the first time. But eventually I learned my lesson, and now I’m gonna share that lesson with you.
There’s no such thing as a “second” chance.
Recently someone asked me for a second chance. Obviously that’s because they fucked up the first time around. But what does that really mean? What do they want another “chance” to do? Well, if they shit on you the first time, chances are they’re going to shit on you again. Which begs the question, how many times should one individual have the opportunity to treat you like discarded trash?
The short answer is none. Ideally, in a perfect world, you’d be able to sniff out the bullshit before and avoid the dreaded fallout of any relationship, be it friends, romance, or even family. But that’s not usually the case, and nine times out of ten, you’re going to be in a situation that leaves you vulnerable. That vulnerability is the opportunity, the proverbial open door, that allows someone to either walk in and enjoy the benefits of being a trusted companion, or gives them the opportunity to take advantage of you and your feelings, thus slamming the door closed for good. Imagine the door is made of high grade epoxy and degrades at the rate of a plastic bag in the ocean, say, 20,000 years to expiration type of shit.
Once the door is closed, it does not open again. Ever.
Once someone has slammed the door on you, there is no ree-ntry. No takebacksies. No oops, my bads. And the reason for this is simple: it was an intentional act. Clear and concise. It was a decision. It wasn’t an accident. Their dick didn’t accidentally slip into someone else. They didn’t accidentally spill your deepest secrets to Claire in Accounting. They didn’t accidentally tell the whole family about your bankruptcy over Christmas dinner. Whatever the case may be, those moments, even if only for a second, flashed through their mind before they pulled the trigger, and they still did it, whatever that “it” may be. So when someone says they want another “chance”, they’re really asking for you to know that they are an intentional piece of shit who can’t be trusted and to allow them into your space anyway. They want another chance to spill your secrets to whoever will listen. They don’t want another chance to be trusted; they want another chance to disappoint you, to lie to you, to manipulate you, and to devastate you.
When I put it that way, it doesn’t sound like we’re handing out second chances, does it?
Just a little Wednesday Wisdom from