So What’s Your Favorite Color?

Where are you from? What do you like to do in your free time? Blah, blah, blah.

I’ve heard it all before. Just about every introductory question a thousand times in a hundred different ways. If going on first dates was an Olympic sport, I’d be a medal holder.

So what makes this bitch an expert in relationships?

Absolutely nothing. In fact I am the antithesis: one failed marriage, a few close calls, and a handful of messy situationships is all the experience I need. A lifetime of disappointment coupled with the fact that statistically Las Vegas is rated as one of the worst places to date IN THE WORLD and you have the secret recipe for an endless supply of knowledge and storytelling from the bitterest bitch to ever swipe right…