Kiss My Escrow
A theory on teacups and bullshit
Good morning my dear friends and fellow bitter bitches!
As of yesterday morning, we are officially in escrow!! 🎉
And in true Bitter Bitch fashion, I woke up this morning stressed the fuck out and convinced I was ruining my life. No joke. I woke up early to prepare for the inspection. I watched my shitty little dog chase the cat around the yard, tail wagging and tongue flopping, knowing I would soon be changing their lives as well. Walked around the house reminiscing about the tile floors I installed on my own, the cabinets I built myself, the endless intricacies that make this space so exceptional. I stood at the front door before I departed and took a long look at the carefully curated palette that is my rustic modern home, and my heart broke a little.
It’s hard to leave something that you love/d, cared for, and spent so much time with. Much like a lover or relationship, or even a job, we feel so committed not to the thing itself but to the time we’ve lost on it. I hear people say all the time they’ve already been with their partners so long, they might as well stay. Or you’ve already committed so much time to a job, what’s the point of leaving. I, too, am one of those people. Always looking backwards. Always considering the sacrifices. Always talking myself into staying because one day it will be appreciated.
Recently I saw a meme on Instagram that spoke to me. It was a quote from some Tibetan monk (Really? I don’t fucking know but go with it). I don’t remember exactly how it read nor did I save it, but I’m going to repeat it nonetheless. The concept is that you cannot refill a glass that is not empty. If your tea has cooled. simply adding a little hot water will not refresh it. Sometimes you have to empty the contents of the cup completely in order to pour yourself a new glass. Simply put, you need to throw all that old shit out to make way for new shit. You cannot expect new great things to happen if you don’t make room for those things.
I’m not necessarily losing anything. I’m simply clearing the way for better things. I have to leave this place in order to follow my dream of traveling the world, ruining some man’s life in every town along the way, and telling you guys all about it. Of course I have my fair share of regrets and this may end up being one of them, but at least I will know. I may look back on my life and say “Fuck, I shoulda kept that job/kept that house/kept that mediocre life”, but at least I will know. I will never look back and wonder what might have happened. I’d rather take the leap and deal with the consequences than live the same shitty day over and over and call that a life.
What does this have to do with you? Everything. If you want to date a nice successful guy with big dick energy, I suggest you dump your trash ass boyfriend who stays with his mom and doesn’t contribute to your household even though he basically lives there. Or your boo whose only concern is hanging with the boys until you get a WYD text at 11pm. Or that baby back bitch who’s broken up with you a dozen times because he’s not ready. He’s never going to change. Stop sticking around thinking he will. Make room for someone new to show up and break your back.
This applies to your shit job as well. Slaving away doing the work of three people for five years isn’t going to show your employer what a loyal, dedicated employee you are. It says you’re a bitch who's willing to get pushed around while you wait for a position to come up that no one else in their right mind would accept. Make a plan, get your finances in order, and get the fuck out of there.
You have to purge your bullshit to make room for new, great shit. Quit your job. Dump your man. Throw out your old clothes. Whatever it is that’s holding you back needs to go. Only you can affect the change in your life. Don’t look back and wonder What if? Look back and think Fuck, that was stupid!